Player & Team Feuds

Josh Harris is a scum lord

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Imagine, if you would, a gas station bathroom. It has gone completely ignored and unattended by costumers and employees alike. The floors are perpetually wet. The mirror has fogged over with grime. It somehow smells like someone microwaved death.

The toilet is overflowing and looks reminiscent of primordial ooze, with any number of living things prepared to emerge at any moment. Out of a sewage pipe behind the toilet drips a toxic black sludge ranking among the foulest substances in creation. That sludge is better than Josh Harris.

It was announced Monday that all 76ers employees making more than $50,000 annually would be subject to temporary salary cuts of up to 20% in order to offset wages lost during the NBA’s suspension. Even members of the coaching staff and front office – whose long-term employment is still very much up in the air – were even asked to take pay cuts. Exempt from the pay cuts however was the Sixers’ very own multi-billionaire, Josh Harris.

Rather than use his $3.7 billion net worth to keep his employees compensated, he figured it’d be easier if he had his other employees foot the bill. Naturally, fans weren’t having it.

And as it turns out, some of ownership wasn’t having it either.

According to Stadium’s Shams Charania, Sixers part-owner Michael Rubin was irate when he heard news of the pay cuts; a decision he had no say in. Rubin’s exclusion from the decision making process is surprising and a bad look for Harris, which further questions the motive behind the pay cuts.

Then stepped in Joel Embiid, who made Harris look like even more a micro-penis.

Embiid, being the angel he is, pledged $500,000 to COVID-19 research, which dwarfs Harris’ pledge of $0.00. The Sixers All-Star also committed to helping Sixers employees suffering financial while the NBA is on hiatus. If only there were someone else in the Sixers’ organization with more money than Embiid who could make a bigger impact on those effected by the Corona virus. Oh wait…

After seeing the kindness of Joel Embiid – as well as his net worth being publicly plastered across all of Twitter – Josh Harris realized the error of his ways. On Tuesday, the Sixers released a statement saying they had made a mistake and would actually be paying their employees’ salaries in full. Bullying really works.

Let’s get something straight, the Sixers didn’t make a mistake. A mistake is taking the wrong turn down a street or ordering poorly when you go out to dinner. What the Sixers did is what the Sixers always do. They acted selfishly as an organization in order to help the people at the top. The Sixers wanted their employees to cover their own lost wages and only stopped when they received bad press. The Sixers didn’t make a mistake, they willfully did something immoral and said, “oops, our B.”

The worst part of all this is that Josh Harris technically did the right thing, so now he gets to act like he did the right thing. He didn’t and shouldn’t, but he likely will. At least Harris ruined pay cuts for every other NBA team owner, now all the billionaires have to pay their employees!

The Sixers organization will now need to tread lightly in the coming weeks to avoid sparking anymore outrage from the fans. This season the organization has already needlessly risked the long-term health of their star players, increased ticket prices for the second year in a a row, and now this. If ownership keeps on their current course, the “sell the team” chants are only going to get louder, and much more lewd.

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