‘Twas the Night Before Thiccmas
Twas the night before Thiccmas and all through the Farg,
not a forward was stirring, no Centers, nor Guards.
The Banners were hung from the rafters with care,
in hopes that more cloth would give reason to stare.
New Sixers asleep all snug in their beds,
just go with me on it, we’re long past the FEDS.
(Fultz Embiid Dario Simmons)
Milwaukee in Cream City and us in our Blues,
we’ve just settled on the jersey’s name… it’s for Splooge.
When out in the lot there arose such a rattle,
Mike Scott and some Birds fans, locked in a battle.
Ben cut to the basket, he moved like a flash,
tore the ball from the offense and threw it down with a crash.
The teams all excited for tomorrow’s big show,
I can’t believe I found a place for Antetokounmpo.
When what did my wondering eyes did appear
but Sam Hinkie, a sleigh and 8 Players he traded for assets, draft picks, and cash consideration.
A little bald driver so wily and slick,
He traded the Kings now they must swap the picks.
More rapid than Giannis on fast breaks they came,
He whistled and shouted and called them by name,
“Now, Turner! Now, Spencer! Now, Landry and Chu Chu!
On, Cannan! On, KJ! On, Nerlins and Van Blue!
From bottom of Standing! To top of the League!
Now Tank away! Tank away! Tank away all!”
With front office, the league intervened,
Hinke out Brian in, all schemes to latrine.
Brians extra-large collar and Italian made pants,
gave hope for the future, if not for NEW SLANTS.
When Detrick hit publish, Flew Harris to Camden,
Down came the hatchet, pink slips were then handed.
Was dressed in a Jersey not two years ago,
Brand as GM means Brett can lie low.
Star Hunting, we were, coach Brown had proclaimed,
a check had been cashed, Brand couldn’t be shamed.
They Traded the farm, everyone that we like,
gone Dario, gone Covington, gone Shamet and Mike.
In came a Hothead lets leave it at that,
he’s out of the league now, retired and fat.
First Tobi, then Horford, now Richardson and Kyle,
Raul, Norvel, Matisse and his smile.
Korkmaz is a baller, yes that is a fact,
this team is amazing our lineup is stacked.
Now we are competing, a chip is the ending,
our stocks are arising our hashtags are trending
Done Scorching of Brown, no dimming his spirit.
But back to the deer, you believe we should fear it?
The game is on Christmas, our gift for the year,
is seeing The Process devour a deer.
I heard Jojo exclaim as he drove from the bash,
I heard Giannis a bitch, but I’m done talking trash.
Happy Holidays from all of us at The Phifth Quarter
